June is traditionally a popular month for weddings. In fact, Pope Francis’ prayer intention this month is for “The beauty of marriage.” While this June is no exception to the tradition, news stories about busy wedding planners and weddings being “back” are reminders that this is shaping up to be something of an exceptional month for weddings.
To get a local perspective on weddings, NC Catholics magazine recently caught up with Gabriel Hernandez, who leads the Office of Marriage and Family Life in the Diocese of Raleigh.
NC Catholics: As more people are becoming vaccinated are you finding the news reports that "marriages are back" to be true?
Gabriel Hernandez: What the pandemic impacted was the frequency of weddings but not so much the interest of couples in marriage. Couples interested in getting married kept their intention to receive the sacrament, but the uncertainty and unpredictability of everything made them delay or reschedule their weddings. Couples also faced the challenge of delays in obtaining their marriage license due to limited office hours and appointment times. We are very glad that the sense of normalcy is returning so that couples can start or resume their marriage preparation processes. We hope that the increase in weddings helps parishes regain their vitality and parishioners to re-engage in parish life.
NCC: How does the marriage preparation process work?
GH: We ask that couples who wish to be married in the Catholic Church contact their local parish as soon as possible to begin the process. The parish will begin the paperwork or administrative side of marriage preparation with the couple and then guide them in the parish-specific way the couple will complete their preparation. Couples can expect to meet with clergy, parish staff, and/or a mentor couple and, in most cases, complete a class or workshop as part of their preparation. It is normally a six–12-month process.
NCC: What does the Church and/or the Diocese of Raleigh require of couples who wish to marry?
GH: Couples who wish to marry in the Catholic Church must be free to marry with no impediments and have the intention to marry for life, to be faithful to one another and to be open to children. Their consent to marry must be freely given in the presence of two witnesses and an authorized Church minister. And either the bride or groom needs to be a baptized Catholic.
NCC: Is marriage prep being done in person now? How was it done during the pandemic?
GH: For the last 12 months, diocesan marriage prep workshops have been held remotely for the most part as an extraordinary measure for safety purposes. But now, we are glad to say that we are going back to holding workshops in person. The remote workshops will remain an option to those couples who can not have their formation otherwise.
NCC: Do you think people have more of an appreciation of the "community" aspect of weddings after going through the pandemic (with restrictions on the number of people that could attend weddings)?
GH: The pandemic has made people really appreciate and acknowledge the importance of community and fellowship in their lives. Neighborhoods, parishes and communities are eager to gather back together. That is true also for couples. The presence (or in this case, the physical absence) of the community was one of the main reasons why many couples decided to postpone their weddings. That shows how much the experience of fellowship and community is important to people. Without any doubt the last months have taught us to value people and to treasure their presence in our lives in both the good times and the bad times.
NCC: Is there anything you would like to add about the marriage preparation process?
GH: Couples who are open to learning, asking questions, reflecting and taking time to work through the marriage prep process have a better experience and feel better prepared to enter into the sacrament of marriage. We also invite couples married by civil law only or by another creed or religion, and who are feeling the call to the Catholic sacramental blessing, to approach a parish to discern their decision. Pastors and Marriage and Family Life staff will be glad to accompany them on their path to sacramental marriage.
A final thought from Pope Francis
The pope reminded people that, yes, weddings celebrated amongst family and friends are joyous. “[But] Marriage isn’t just a ‘social act,’” he said. “It’s a vocation that’s born from the heart, a conscious decision for the rest of one’s life that requires specific preparation. And on this life-long journey, the husband and wife aren’t alone. Jesus accompanies them.”
More on marriage
Wedding season is upon us! - USCCB Secretariat of Laity, Marriage, Family Life and Youth